Transformed Parenting

Have you heard the current, popular news regarding the behavior of children? Apparently, it's much more simple than parents have thought.  A recent radio ad promoted a program aimed at children's behavioral problems.  I've heard the radio spot numerous times and have since checked out the information contained on the website.  One of the most surprising quotes heard on the radio and also listed on the website includes the idea that there is a guaranteed way to change a child's attitude in one minute or less.

This program might be different than others in some aspects, but one thing remains the same. That one thing is the selling of a quick-fix idea.  It is another program marketed to desperate parents who are hoping against hope that their youngster can be transformed and his behavior radically changed. Often, a program like this is a last ditch effort for the parents who are nearing the end of their ropes.

Many of the parents looking for this kind of transformation in their children's behavior have waited very late in the game. When children are young (approximately the 1-5 year range) out-of-control behavior is passed off as being normal for young children.  Many behavioral actions are considered cute and funny until the child begins to really become an annoyance for the parents. Once the parents are continually embarrassed in public settings, they decide it is time to do something about it. The more troubling scenarios are when the parents wait much later and have teenage children who are practically untouchable due to the years of failed parenting patterns.

The truth is that there are no quick-fix programs in existence that can guarantee any results. There is also no concrete promise of how long it will take to train a child or to even transform a child's attitude with behavioral problems. However, there are parenting tools and guidelines that can greatly assist parents in the raising and training of their children.

Let's start out with some of the basic fundamentals.

1. Be A Good Example

Children come into this world knowing very little and learning everything from watching people and things around them. You've heard it said that children become their parents. That is true whether for better or worse. What are you showing them? The parents will be the map that shows young children the direction in which they are to go.

2. Consistency Breeds Confidence

When a young child is growing and learning, he is searching for boundaries. He doesn't know that's what he is doing, but he is. It is the job of parents to make sure he clearly understands where those are. Then, when the boundaries are crossed, there must be definite and consistent consequences. The consistency here is the sole responsibility of the parents. An atmosphere of consistency will build a strong sense of confidence in the child that will help him make decisions.

3. Loving Discipline

Most people have experienced the uncomfortable setting when a parent is yelling in anger at a child due to some sort of behavior issue whether in word or deed. At this point in the child's life, nothing profitable is being learned. Instead, the child is simply experiencing the wrath of a parents that he thinks is due to his actions. When correction and instruction is needed in the child's life (because those boundaries have been crossed) the parents must check themselves first and be able to administer the much needed discipline with love. Also, there can be no misunderstanding in this area. A loving parent is not the one who lets the child do whatever and behave however he wants. True love between parent and child includes consistent, loving discipline when it is warranted.

4. Time Teaches, Begin Early

There is no substitute for the time spent between parent and child. If there was a quick-fix solution for behavioral issues of young children, everyone would have subscribed and there would no longer be any problems. To raise and train a child takes time, time, and more time. That being the case, parents must begin in the earliest of stages. It's not just when those beautiful babies begin moving around. It's much earlier that the child begins searching for those boundaries. The earlier the parents will begin the training process, the better off they and the child will be. Remember this- a teenager who is responsible, respectful, and a joy to be around is not an accident. He is a result of a loving and nurturing childhood full of consistent training.